nic77e

dealing with narcolepsy, wedding planning, a law degree and some new fitness goals…

busy little bee

My apologies for being slack with the posts of late.  I have been very busy!  I have started a new job that I am really enjoying, I am finding it both challenging and rewarding and I am learning a LOT!  5 days a week is keeping me very busy, plus 1 day a week at the law firm and I have also started summer school.

What’s that you say about burning candles at both ends or biting off more than you can chew!?  I am slowly getting into a schedule for myself and am getting on top of things however my fitness has certainly not been amazing these last few weeks.

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I have discovered a new flavour of ice cream – Connoisseur Chocolate Obsession.  My previous favourite ice cream was Mövenpick Chocolate.. Connoisseur leaves it for dead..!  It has a cherry brandy sauce swirled through it and it just might be the most delicious thing I have eaten all year… I am too scared to look at how many calories are in a scoop.

So other than working, studying and pigging out on ice cream I have not done very much else!l 

I did have a lovely time a few weeks ago – I have mentioned previously that there is an amazing group of women that I met through the 12wbt – we all share a common goal of weight loss aspirations, are of a similar weight and we all have weddings to attend soon that involve donning a bikini as they are in tropical locations.  We have all really bonded and they are an endless source of support, encouragement and inspiration.  One of the “Bikini Girls” was here in Queensland on holidays so we were able to meet in person, we went to the beach and had a jog/chin wag.  It was so much fun to meet her and we both felt like we could have chatted for ages and ages.  It is a beautiful thing to see new friendships forming in your life.

I am resolving to get back on the exercise band wagon this week.  I have been so slack.  My weight loss has still continued to slowly drop but at a much slower rate as my diet has not been as disciplined.

I am now taking a double dose of my medication each morning (2 x tablets) which seems to give me a good start to the day, then I am averaging only one further tablet around lunch time.  I am constantly on my feet running about a very busy store with my new job and I am finding that the vibrancy of the new job is really refreshing and well suited to me.

I am starting to realise that I will continue to feel exhausted when I first wake up for the rest of my life, but I am trying very hard to change my mentality when I wake up each morning, so I try not to lay in bed to get “5 more minutes” anymore.  Instead I force myself to get up and have a coffee and take my medication.  About 5 minutes later I am feeling excellent and no longer sleepy.

And yes, as you may have picked up – I have started drinking coffee again after 10 months of abstinence.  Amazing how quickly you get back into it and need it again!  Old habits die hard I guess!

I am keen to start a new diet in 2013.  There is a great deal of information that suggests that a gluten free diet is very beneficial for narcoleptics.  So I am going to give it a go for a few months and see how I feel.  

Additionally, my summer school subject is Animal Law.  It is incredibly confronting to be faced with things that I have continually swept under the rug in relation to how meat is produced.  I am not sure that I am comfortable continuing to eat meat that has been produced in this way.  Am I a potential vegetarian..?  Me?  The “I love steak girl”?

More to come on all of this, I just wanted to say hello to the internet land and confirm that I am still here and awake!

More updates soon!

Nx

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Said nobody..

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Let er rip..!

This week I lost 1.1 kgs.. so in the last few weeks that means a total loss of 3.4 kgs.  I wish I could tell you this was a walk in the park.  It was not.  I was tempted often and yet I largely managed to resist temptation.  I have completed a measly, pathetic grand total of 2 exercise sessions in the last 3 weeks.  So, my laziness has proved one thing for certain.  Diet is King!  I keep hearing “It’s 80% diet” and I think – pish posh.. Never will I pish posh this concept again.

I’ve now lost 7.3 kgs since deciding to do Round 3 of the 12wbt.  In all honestly, I’m rather chuffed with myself.  So much so that yesterday when getting ready for work I took a look at a lovely Ted Baker dress that I bought in London a few years ago.  It has become a permanent fixture in my closet for all the wrong reasons.  It was one of those “ok so it doesn’t fit me now but I’m going to lose weight soon so it will fit me soon and it’s a bargain so I will buy it now because.. did I mention I am going to lose weight” yeah. . it was one of THOSE purchases…

It has never been worn.

Until yesterday.  I actually slinked into that baby.. yep.. Mr fiance man was asking if I needed help with the zip.. No, no I did not need the usual assistance required to smoosh my extra bits of skin into and around the material!  No, there was no little wiggly dance around the bedroom hop hop hopping technique to shudder the chubby bits downwards so they squished into the dress.. it just went.. ZIP !  And away I went.  Feeling like a million bucks.

My lovely little say-hello-in-the-morning-at-the-train-station-man had a brilliant reaction.  “Wow!  You look amazing today, what is the special occasion?”  Beaming, I tell him about my weight loss and how chuffed I am that the dress fits.  Life is good.  I’m so pleased with myself I happily update the facebook page for the Bikini Girls 12wbt group sharing my delight with them.

ooh la la

I get to work, and smugly plonk down at my desk with a big smirk on my face.  And what do I hear..?  A tearing sound.  I look around.. surely.. no!  I stand up and feel my bum.. and feel a nice new tear in the back of my never been worn Ted Baker dress. I promptly sit back down dismayed.. yet another ripping sound.  I hurriedly stand up again and rush myself off to the bathroom to inspect the damage.  It is NOT pretty.  Thank GOODNESS for lining in dresses.  I could kiss whoever invented this.  However, if they are in any way associated to the dodgey slap happy stitching present in the rear of my supposedly expensive dress.. well… A massive tear from the bottom of the zip right down to the split in the hem.. super obvious.  Peachy.

Now.. WHAT does one do in this situation?  I consider if I can somehow get my hands on one of those hundred little sewing kits I am constantly pilfering from hotel room offerings.. can I sew it back?  It appears not, apparently my butt is not quite as tiny as I was imagining?  Blast.  When I sit down the dress goes taut.. and clearly puts a strain on something in this godforsaken poorly designed outfit.. Because surely to GOODNESS it’s the design here.. right? Not my massive bum cheeks or wide hips that are causing this conundrum…

So.. I think of what I can do, I like to think I can be rather resourceful at times.  I have stapled hems that have lasted for years.  Sticky tape has saved me on many occasions, I can bulldog clip and paperclip material left right and centre.  However, this massive tear in my arse region is causing me some major concern.

I text the fiance…  I update the facebook Bikini Girls group with my situation.  I text my ex-work colleague who left last week who is the only person I have really bonded with at work.. I berate her for ever leaving me alone to face these kinds of disasters without her help.

Everyone is amused.  To be honest, even I am slightly amused.  Until I realise its 915am and its inevitable that at any moment my boss will call out and summons me into his office involving a 10 metre strut past all my colleagues.  Someone will notice.

I consider fainting.  I consider just walking out.  I consider running to the bathroom and waiting for the fiance to bring me new clothes.  Bless his little heart, with no prompting from me, he offers to drive the hour journey to my work with an alternate outfit.  He blames the sitting in the cupboard and re-assures me that my bum looks lovely and the dress was actually loose on me.  Design flaw he claims!

Just zipping out to pick up a new frock

I wait until the only guy in our office goes to the kitchen and I frantically call the girls to my desk and work up the courage to tell them of my situation.  They are completely wonderful about it.  “It’s happened to me”.. “but the dress isn’t even tight” “Its a design flaw a design flaw” “you’ve had it hanging in the cupboard too long”.. Im skeptical, but also most grateful for their gushing re-assurance.

So, I model my sexy new modified outfit for them all and we agree that the best plan of attack is to belt to the shops.  So I do.  In peek “fancy business man meet each other for coffee for morning meeting time” I run down Brisbane’s Creek Street and through Queen Street Mall like a possessed woman, I give new meaning to the term “walk of shame” of course I get stopped for what seems like an eternity at every intersection.. which is when I switch to my fake it till you make it mode where I am totally oozing confidence and pretending that the flapping gape in the back of my dress is the latest fashion trend..

I calmly waltz into Portmans, point at my bum and wave my tooshie in the air at the staff.  Everyone laughs.  Bugger it, if you can’t laugh at yourself in such a ridiculous situation what can you do?  So, I buy myself a new outfit (I’m considering it a weight loss treat) and I’m back at my desk within 35 minutes.  I model my newest outfit for the office and everyone agrees the trip was a success.  I’m not quite sure my bank account or my self esteem really agree with this summation just yet.. but what the heck.  I got to wear the hell out of that Ted Baker dress for a good 2 hours!

So, if you see a new trend starting where slits and rips are cut into the bum of otherwise sombre looking corporate dresses.. well.. you can safely say .. you saw it here first kids!!

Nx

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Je Comprehends..

Many years ago, an ex boyfriend once said “God isn’t fair to girls, the first place you put weight on is where you don’t want it (like your bum and your thighs), and the first place you lose weight is where you do want it (like your boobs).”  Everyone in the room had a good little chuckle at the irony of it all.

I must confess.  I was confused.  I was about 19 at the time.  The concept of “putting on weight” had, quite frankly, not made itself known to me at that stage.  My boobs were a reasonable size (no complaints) and I fit into all my size 10 clothes with room to spare, I preferred a Size 9 jeans when I could get them.

When I was younger I was constantly asked if I had hollow legs, I ate and ate and ate.. finishing everything on my plate, and on the plates of my brothers and sisters, boyfriends, friends.. I wasn’t fussy.. if it was edible.. I would snap it up.  My favourite snack was either pizza pockets or jacket potatoes.  I’d layer the spud up with cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise and other things that make the now weight conscious me raise my eyebrows and think of calories and measurements and treadmills.

I am the Queen of “No, No, I don’t need new clothes, I’ll lose weight and fit into those jeans I haven’t worn in 2 years”.. Pre 12wbt, nothing fit, my wardrobe has been reduced to the same 4 items of stretchy dark coloured clothing on high rotation.  I’m convinced I look skinnier in black.  Most of my underwear is tight and uncomfortable, I look at some of my bras and wonder how they ever fit.  So, before starting 12wbt I reluctantly bought a new sports bra.. a size 14 much to my dismay.Image

I just put on my “new” bra… and it doesn’t fit anymore! It’s too big..!  Conundrum ! !  Do I cheer that I lost weight?  Or do I feel dismayed that my boobs have shrunk?

I finally understand what my ex was saying all those years ago.. I’ve lost weight from the one place on my body that I was happy to have as a big bouncy blubbering mess.. my BOOBS!

Hopefully my bum & thighs catch on soon…

Nx

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Pretending to be normal

Sleep is a monster.. raaaaaggh

Lately I feel like I have been pretending to be normal.  I take a little pill a few times a day and all of a sudden, the pretending is easier.  All of a sudden sleeping is not the only thing I can think about.

The thing is, its still there.. in the back of my head.. like a monster.. this tired feeling.  When I feel the medication wearing off I realise all of a sudden how tired I actually am.  Knowing that I could sleep for hours (or days) without even trying.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I haven’t slept at all.

busy dreams .. all night..

Like I’ve spent the whole night doing exercise, that exhausted feeling you get after a double gym session where you really worked super extra hard.  When you get home and sit down and couldn’t be bothered having a shower because you just want to close your eyes. . just.. . for a minute.  I feel like that when I wake up.  I’ve spent the whole night dreaming, and yelling out in my sleep and going on adventures and having conversations out loud.  I wonder if spending so much time in REM and dreaming so much burns extra calories?

I’m supposed to be working on my assignment.  So far, not one word has been written, but a lot of reading has been done.  I find that during the day now, the medication helps me get through the cases and the journal articles and the pages and pages that law students are asked to read.  However, I still don’t feel quite ‘normal’.  I still feel tired.

I’m still not supposed to drive.  So I’m at the mercy of my lovely fiancé.  You may recall from my previous post, that he has done his knee, his ACL in fact.  He is due for surgery in December.  So.. he is not in a great driving state at the moment either.  My friend is borrowing my car at the moment and fiancé is my taxi-man.

I’ve met some new, (more positive) people online who are doing 12wbt and they have invited me to join them for bootcamp on Saturday (today).  It starts at 5.45am and is a 40 minute drive away.  Despite this, I was still excited to go and looking forward to meeting some new faces.

So, is it reasonable to ask my lovely (but injured) fiancé to get out of bed at 5am to drive me 40 minutes to get to bootcamp and then to come back at 7am to collect me from bootcamp?  I decide, that yes, of course its reasonable that is what you do when you love people isn’t it?  Hmmm not today kids, not today.  He is sore, and has a delivery due this morning for work, so he has to be at home, so we decide that if I have a pill and get myself ready and am feeling ok I can drive myself to bootcamp.

Yesterday I ended up helping my friends move, it wasn’t planned and my day was a bit upside down in the end.  I had a pill at 6pm to keep me going.  I’m not supposed to have it after 4pm.  So.. I was up past midnight (rare for me).  And when I woke up at 5am today to go to bootcamp.. I felt.. well I felt a bit like I’d already done a bootcamp.  My eyes were sore, my head hurt, my body was tired.

I lay there trying to tell myself I felt ok, and that it was safe to drive 40 minutes at this hour of the morning.  Eventually I realised I was just kidding myself and messaged the girls to say I couldn’t make it.  Struggling to come up with an easy way to explain this very frustrating situation I am in.

There are some places you can live where not having your license is do-able.  Where I live, it is not really very feasible.  We are at least a 20 minute drive along the freeway from anything useful.  The public transport is inconsistent and time consuming and was designed by someone who has obviously never needed to actually get anywhere useful in their lives.

Not being able to drive, and being constantly reminded that I am not supposed to drive, is a constant reminder to me that I am not well.  A reminder that there is something wrong with me.  I know it could be worse, I know it could be much worse.  Lately I just feel as though a bit of my independence has been taken from me.

No wonder senior citizens complain about moving out of their homes and being shoved into nursing homes.  No independence really sucks.

Sorry crazy lady.. no license for you!

I have my MWT on Monday to see if I can pass their ridiculously difficult “stay awake” test while on meds so that at least I can drive after taking medication.  I am really nervous about it and very worried that the answer will be no way crazy lady, you better stay off the roads for good…  We are not sure what the plan needs to be if that is the answer.

Keep you posted..

Nx

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Where am I?

Last post was 10 days ago, it is most unusual for me to have nothing to say.  Truth be known, I have actually had so very much to say that I haven’t really known where to start.  So I’ve just generally avoided the land of the world wide web.

Firstly, I had an assignment due, ok so that isn’t entirely accurate.  I have had 3 items due; 2 assignments and 1 “take home exam”.  A take home exam is a really wonderfully creative invention lecturers have come up with to put the wind up students, basically you receive your assignment on Monday morning and its due in a few days later.  I like to tell myself that my general consistent tardiness and “leave it to the last minute” approach has actually been years and years of practice for take home exams.  Nothing like a deadline to get you moving.  So, I received the exam on Monday, started it on Wednesday, went to work on Thursday and finished typing it out at about 4.55pm on Friday.  I think it was ok, as usual it could have been better.. if only I had started earlier..! HA! (story of my life!)

Unfortunately because of my lovely little narcoleptic condition I am still behind on lectures.  So I spent a fair bit of my time last week actually listening to the lectures I actually attended in body only, as I happened to be fast asleep for most of it.  I didn’t start the meds till week 6, so that means I have 5 x 2 hour lectures x 6 weeks to catch up on.  I’m not great at maths (I’m studying law, not finances) but even I know that is a lot of catching up.

Turns out listening to the lectures really helps to get your head around the content for your assignments…  This however, involved what can only be described as a sh*t load of typing.  I’m a fast typer but I am not an entirely “correct” typer, I mostly use my right hand due to lazy bad habits that started when I was a teenager, I know the way I type is bad for my shoulders, but hey.. I’ll be ok right?  Wrong?  As often happens to me, I got typers arm, old lady arm, laptop arm, keyboard arm, whatever type of arm you want to classify it as, once again it happened to me.  So, I get all stuck and sore in my neck and shoulder and arm region which is painful and wakes me up at night (just what this narcoleptic lady needs).  It also makes me walk around a bit like frankenstien which is always a good look.

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So because my local osteopath is a complete and utter rip off and honestly does very little to help me, I take some anti inflammatories and heed some friends advice to heat pack it and lay on a tennis ball a bit to get into the problem area, which I must confess, did more to excite the dog (who thought we were up for a quick game of fetch) than it did to improve my shoulder pain.

Things were a little better by Thursday, and then as I was getting ready for work, shaking my dress out to get rid of the creases (because ironing is for whimps right?) and whoopsie daisy, there goes my back.  So.. now I’m crawling around on the floor moaning that I need to go to work because I don’t have any hours at the bottle shop this week so my one day in the law office is it for my income this week.. so.. I take some pain killers and bumble myself off to work.

Oh.. did I mention that the fiance did his knee at football on Monday night?  A fine pair we make at the moment, he is in a brace, has crutches and is awaiting surgery, and I’m crawling around on the floor looking for my shoes for work.  I’m also not supposed to be driving at the moment because of that whole fall asleep while driving business.. So between the two of us, we have 2 cars and no able bodied drivers.. Goodie.

So I went to work and sat bolt upright all day and somehow managed to get through the day, then spent the next day frantically typing which has kind of brought back the shoulder business.  So.. there will be NO PRIZES for guessing how many exercise sessions I completed this week?  Zip. Diddly. Squat.. no, no squats.. just zip and diddly.

I’m quite frustrated with myself, I was doing so well and then niggly little old lady injuries kick in, Uni takes over for a week, and despite my excellent efforts last week I lost 100 grams.  Which I was originally OK about but the more I think about it the more irritated I am, I put in a fair amount of effort last week and everyone else in the Bikini Girls forum seemed to have the wheels fall off, meanwhile I just kept on shuffling along while they all pulled big numbers.  I know its a race against me etc etc.. but you can’t help but think dammit, I’ll just go to the pub then like the rest of you if that’s what gets the weight loss happening.

In other news I have found the internet to be a bit disheartening of late.  I joined 2 new groups on bookface that are Narcolepsy support groups, generally really fantastic to be able to speak to other people who are going through similar things, and also in a strange way nicely relieving to hear that other people have it worse.  Funny how we have this awful human reaction to be happier with our own situation based on the relevant misfortune of others.  Anyway one of the groups (Narcolepsy Australia) has only been opened in the last few weeks so we are all getting to know each other, my phone is beeping every few minutes with updates and it is quite intense at times to be honest.

On top of that there is a locally based 12wbt group I was part of on bookface that has really been quite awkward to be part of, not at all what I was expecting or hoping for, one member clearly has some personal things happening with her relationship at the moment and often posts unusual comments, quite awkward for total strangers to be reading some of the things she posts.. Bookface is always bouncing with activity from the group and it can be hard to keep up, anyway someone finally snapped in internet land and made a comment (that I 100% agreed with) about the inappropriateness of it all, well, let the b*tchy games begin ladies!   What fun that was to read.  I deleted myself from that group and hopefully will regain some sanity as a result.

Lastly, but certainly not least.  A very sad thing happened yesterday. The fiance and I drove past  the scene of a really awful accident on a main road where a cyclist had been hit by a car.  I’ve never seen anything like that before.  The cyclist was .. well.. not in a very good way at all.  If you are one of those people who is going to go all emotional and “post traumatic” on me, I suggest you quit reading now.

The police and ambulance had not yet arrived and I would be surprised if it had been more than 2 or 3 minutes since the accident had happened.  It didn’t look as though the cyclist had worn a helmet.  It was plain to see that the cyclist was dying.  You could tell from the strange unnatural way he was slumped, and also the massive puddle of blood that was pooling around his head.  The most telling part was the demeanour of the drivers who had gotten out to help and were surrounding him.  Their body language said it all, hunched shoulders, heads down, general looks of impotence, two guys stood close to the cyclist and you could see that they were hesitant to even touch him and really there was not much point in taking the guys pulse it was easy to see things were dire.  The news said he died in hospital but I suspect that is just a “nice” news way of reporting what happened.

Strange the effect this has had on me, to see someone in their last few moments of life.  To think about the effect that what happened will have on the driver of the car.  I know that’s life, and I am always one for saying “you could get hit by a bus tomorrow”, but yesterday has really hit home for me.

Life is short, it is certainly too short to be whinging on forums about husbands and relationships, and life is too short to not enjoy every moment.  The good, the bad, the exercised, the non-exercised, the sleepy moments and the wide awake moments.  I try to stay positive, and more than anything I think this has re-emphasised to me the important things.

So, I spent an hour laying on the headland at Burleigh today just enjoying the day and the view and it didn’t matter so much that I wasn’t in London, or that I had a cranky fight with the fiance last night, or that I’m still overweight, or that I probably should have been exercising.  I just enjoyed the view.

So to all my beautiful my internet-land friends that have been asking where am I?.. I am just.. right.. here .. 🙂 Nx

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The race against me

Good morning!

On Saturday as promised, I woke up early and met my future bro-in-law down at the local park for a 5km run.  The run is organised by a group called park run, I strongly recommend giving it a go if there is one in your local area.  Everyone is so friendly, the event is so well organised, its free, and they have even organised for a coffee cart to come down so you can socialise afterwards.  You get a barcode when you register and at the end of the 5kms you scan your barcode and then they upload your times to their website, you even get your PB tracked and everything.  I didn’t register in time so my details are not in the system but I am listed as #48 here.

Ok so, at first glance not such a glowing result.  48th in a pack of 59 people leaves me straggling in my awesome shuffle style somewhere near the back with the old ladies and the injured people.. ok I will confess, there were some old ladies who were flying past me.  However, on Saturday I was very firm in my head that you have to start somewhere, and it is just a race against me.  I’m only trying to beat my time, burn my calories and make my body feel better.  I was hoping for something under 30 minutes, instead I finished in 34 minutes. But that’s ok, the only way is up right?

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I do feel sorry for the lovely lady “Susie” who finished just behind me.  I pretty much dragged Susie most of the way, why is it so much easier to encourage a stranger or friend rather than yourself?  Poor Susie was just behind me for the first 2kms or so.  We’d both stop at different times and pant and puff walk for a bit and then keep plodding, eventually I turned to her and said come on, let’s run together.  So we ran side by side for the next  few kms.  When she went to stop I urged her on, and something about it kept me going too, when we got near her family (her kids and their grandparents were cheering her on!) I’d say come on, lets fake it past them and make out like we are not finding this hard.  Eventually she fell behind again but on the last hill I was doing my panty-puff-shuffle-dawdle thing and she came up behind me and said ok it’s your turn now, let’s run together.. and off we went pushing each other up the hill for the home stretch.  It was a lovely moment of camaraderie between two strangers, I could almost hear Chariots of Fire playing in the background.

It made me miss my friend Mel who is constantly saying that she wished I was still down in Sydney to train with her.  We still manage to do a great job of kicking each others butts via Skype and text though so all is not lost.

I’ve actually really enjoyed communicating with people via this blog so far, whether it be for narcolepsy or 12wbt.  There is something encouraging in the thought that you are not doing it alone, not to mention that your little posts into the world wide web are actually being read by someone.

I’m also part of a lovely little forum post on the 12wbt site with a group of ladies where we sometimes refer to ourselves as the “Bikini Girls” we all have upcoming weddings to attend in tropical locations (whether it be our own or a friends) or upcoming holidays that will involve donning a bikini at some stage so we have sort of  banded together and are motivating each other, following each other on My Fitness Pal etc…  Oh the wonders of modern technology.

Now that I have the “wonder drugs” I’m starting to catch up on Uni again which is such a great feeling.  I still don’t feel like I’m quite “there” yet with Uni and fitness and a set routine but I am getting there.  Interested to see how “Weigh in Wednesday” goes because we have had guests the last few days and the tendency to over indulge in BBQ food and unhealthy portion sizes is always great.  I was not as naughty as I normally would be, but I certainly could have been better.  So we will see what the scales have to say about it in a few days time.

Keep :-)lin!

Nx

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3 days without sleep

Happy Friday kids,

I read an interesting article here today.  Quote: “Most people would have to go 3 days without sleep in order to experience the symptoms of sleep deprivation an untreated person with Narcolepsy experiences everyday” Who knows if this is technically accurate, but it sounds about right to me!

I’m certainly feeling some of the side effects from the medication.  I am not hungry.  At all.  Which for me is just about one of the strangest feelings I’ve had!  I’ve always been one of those people who eats everything on their plate, and anything out on the table, anything anyone else leaves on their plates, anything that didn’t get put back in the fridge yet.. etc etc.. However, since taking the meds, I’m just not hungry, rather disinterested in food actually although I’m not noticing such a strange taste in my mouth anymore I just don’t feel like food.  Today I only made it half way through my sandwich.. anyone that knows me will know that this is unheard of for me!

I’m really feeling it in the late afternoon/early evening when the meds wear off.  Very very zonked, tonight I needed a nap when I got home from Uni.  As far as I can work out the meds work for about 4 hours.  I think the feeling I’m getting at night is just the real narcoleptic me kicking back in, it is just such a contrast to the medicated me that it is a bit of a shock to the system.  Comparing how I used to feel each day to this new energetic me is chalk and cheese.

That said, I haven’t been very good with my exercise this week.  I’m ordering a Polar HRM with the 12wbt discount this week so that I can track my calories because it is really hard to know if you are doing enough each day.  I’m also doing a 5km run tomorrow morning with future bro-in-law, there is a free running club that goes from just down the road at 7am each Saturday.  So I’m giving that a go.

I’ve been a bit naughty today and haven’t studied, instead I’ve been distracted looking at wedding dresses on line, I’ve worked out a few that I want to try on, I’ve also found a few that I’m only trying on if I win lotto… It is all great incentive to stick to the program and lose some weight!

Nx

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The simple things

Hello hello!

So much to fill you in on.  Ok, so… today I received the very difficult “stay awake” test, I knew it wouldn’t be good.   By the fourth and final “40 minute wall staring exercise” the sleep technician and I were having a bit of a laugh about it all, I was nodding off all over the place.  I received the results today, the official assessment is “impaired wakefulness” I’m no expert but judging from this report I won’t be driving without medication anytime soon.

The results are summarised below:Image

Basically, there were microsleeps present in all 4 of the wakefulness test periods, but you can see from the above that I didn’t go into sleep latency in the first test period, but did do so relatively quickly in the remaining 3 tests.  Sleep latency is basically the time it takes you to fall asleep.

So, the test was a little depressing, but the upside of the test was that yesterday I was able to finally start the medication.

I honestly have no words to describe how fabulous it feels to be “normal” again.  Yesterday my lecture started at 8am, usually I can make it through about 30 minutes before I really start drifting off and losing focus.  Not yesterday, I was alert, on the ball, listening, taking it in, making notes, paying attention, for the whole two hours.  I just cannot explain how that makes me feel.  I kind of want to do cartwheels or something, but instead I’m walking around with a big smile on my face.  I stayed awake until 11pm, went to dinner with friends, almost finished my assignment.. cleaned the bedroom up, vacuumed, you know.. just functioned..!

It just goes to show you that it really is the simple things in life that matter.  Being able to go to class and take in what is being said without having to come home and go through the whole lecture again via recording.  What a feeling!  In case it isn’t coming across, I’m rather elated!

Downsides to the medication are a strange metallic taste in my mouth, and a decrease in appetite (although, at the moment with my weight loss goals I am not really putting that in the downside category!), I’m also incredibly thirsty.  Other than that, I feel fantastic.

I just got back from taking the dog for a run.  I think she must have read my last post.  Because today it was me running in front looking back to see if she was ok!  I think perhaps it was a bit hot for her today (that combined with my bouncy energy) I had to walk home because the poor little thing couldn’t keep up with me.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll run a bit earlier in the morning so its not so warm.

I will say these last few days my schedule has been a little out of whack as I had the sleep study on Monday and my assessment was today.  Good news is the assessment went really well, and I think I will get a great mark.

I’ve booked flights to go down to Melbourne with my sisters to try on wedding dresses on the 1st of December, so that is a great goal on the horizon to aim for.  All in all, things are looking up!

Nx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcglnY_xGfc

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Don’t think about blue elephants

.. Let me guess.. right now you are thinking about blue elephants?

The human brain is a funny thing.  I’m currently at the sleep centre, part way through my MWT.  The deal today is I arrive at 6.30am and will be here till 5pm.  I am all hooked up with the usual electrodes, as it is now my third time so I’m feeing pretty comfortable with the drill here.  Every two hours I have to sit in a chair and stare at a wall for 40 minutes.  It is riveting stuff.

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When I did the MSLT I had to nap every 40 minutes, you get into bed and say to yourself OK sleep.. Sleep.. sleeeeeep.. and for the first time in as long as I can remember guess what I can’t do?  Sleep!  It took me an average of four minutes to fall asleep each time, and those four minutes felt like an eternity.  However now I know.. an eternity is actually roughly 40 minutes in duration.

When someone asks you not to sleep, and not to fidget, not to play with your phone, or go online, or talk, or sing, or hum or make any movements generally. Guess what you want to do?  First you want to sleep.. then you get a bit itchy, then you think no no, I can do this I’ll count the minutes out.. that will keep me entertained.  Quick calculation, 60 seconds x 10 minutes = 600, 600 x 4 = 2,400 (those Maths classes are really paying off hey?) Ok so all I have to do is count to 2,400 and I’m good to go right?  Simples?  Hmm around the 150 mark I completely lost interest in that task.

So I’m practising my assessment in my head – the assessment is a moot, (a debate) and I have to know my speech fairly well.  So I go through that.. and get a little bored of that.. ho hum.. right lets count powerpoints in the room we can see without moving our head.. and so it goes.  Until finally finally the lovely sleep technician walks in and tells me I’m free to move around for the next two hours.  Hoorah!  Stage one complete!  I have three more tests to get through today.

Good news is, I was a good little 12wbt-er last night and made my lunch for today, a nice healthy salad and some fruit snacks.  It felt a bit like getting ready for school.

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Anyways, I’m off to do some more of my assessment.  The lovely technician has given me the only room with a desk today so I’m all nicely set up ready to work my little heart out before “stare at the wall session #2”.

Don’t think about blue elephants!!

Nx

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