dealing with narcolepsy, wedding planning, a law degree and some new fitness goals…

Small humans.. (aka babies…)

on October 25, 2012

One of the things that my fiance and I will have to consider in the next few years is babies.  Yep.. there you go. I said it. baaaaabiies.  I’m 30.  You fall in love, you get married, you have a wonderful life, you ruin it with some children.. that’s how it goes right?!Image

I’ve been waiting a while for this i-want/really-really-need-a-baby woman gene type thing to kick in, you know, the “clock” that everyone bangs on about?

Quite frankly, I am fairly terrified by the concept.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my nephew, I think he is a gorgeous bundle of sweet smelling (usually) cute faced very kissable and pinchable goodness.  However, my very very absolute favourite thing about my sweet little nephew is that I can give him back to his Mummy at the end of the day.

The whole idea of giving up a nice big chunk of my foreseeable future to watch a small human get slowly larger and larger and finally grow up and tell me he hates me just really doesn’t appeal to me much.  Yes I realise it is different when they are yours, yes I realise that some fabulously wonderful hormones kick in and screw up my brain and make me think that a baby, (well MY baby), is the best thing since sliced bread..

But honestly, when I think about babies, I think about lack of sleep!  I think about broken sleep!  I think about waking up in the middle of the night because this small screaming thing wants you.

Anyway, I went to a wedding on the weekend and thank goodness, it was largely a child free affair.  A friend has just had a baby 8 weeks ago so she was given special bride approval to bring her new baby along.  Lovely little thing that he is, he pretty much just slept and made sweet baby noises all night.  His Mum hadn’t danced once the whole night, so feeling quite guilty at being able to liberally waltz around and do whatever I pleased while she sat there with a bundle of baby in her arms.. I asked if she would like me to hold him for a while so she could enjoy herself a bit.  I wouldn’t say she threw him into my arms, but she certainly didn’t hesitate.. so there I was, on a couch, with a baby.  I will be honest and say, he wasn’t so bad.  He was quite warm actually and a good little cuddler.  So then I start to think ok maybe it isn’t the end of the world if we decide one day eventually, possibly that we would have a baby.

ImageGetting diagnosed with narcolepsy has made me really think long and hard about whether this is a great idea.  My fiance wants kids.  Quite badly, he can’t wait to be a Dad.  It is one of the reasons I love him so much, it is very sweet to see the guy you love talk about what it will be like to have kids one day.  If I came home tomorrow and said “honey let’s have a baby” he would be up for it.. yeah yeah.. he would be up for “it” but also that lifelong create a human thing too.  So, what do I do?  They think that narcolepsy could be genetic.  So there is a chance that my children would have narcolepsy too.  I will be honest and say that my main concern has been fairly selfish so far.  I’m tired.. that’s no secret.  I hear pregnant ladies say how tired they are all the time, of course they are, they are making a little person.  So, what happens when you have narcolepsy and you are pregnant?  SUPER TIRED!  I’m losing a bunch of weight.. what happens when you get pregnant? You get big!  So far it all seems quite counter-productive..

The medication that I am on is a Category B3 drug.  Which basically means that human data in relation to pregnancy is lacking or minimal.  Testing on animals has been conducted with good results.  But this doesn’t mean everything is a-o-k for people.  So, taking medication whilst pregnant is a risk. I respect everyone’s individual right to make that decision but frankly, it is a risk that I am not prepared to take.

So, I’m facing at least a year (probably longer) where I won’t be able to take my magic stay awake medication.  For every baby that we wish to have.  So, basically, it is going to be tough.  I will struggle to work.  I will struggle to do most things.. all for the sake of a little bubba who will also thoroughly enjoy disrupting my sleep…argh!

The sleep specialist has recommended that we talk to an obstetric physician now so that we know what to expect and our options.  We had a long discussion about whether we would go to the private specialist who sometimes operates from his clinic, or whether we would just go with someone in the public system who was familiar with sleep disorders and the effects of the medication.

As we are not in any immediate hurry to start this arduous journey we said public would be fine (and cheaper).. I am after all, a poor student at the moment!  On our way out the door, he said goodbye and noted that he would send me for that referral to his specialist, I said no, not your specialist the public one.. oh yes of course he says.. as you wish he says..

Now, my sleep specialist charged a whopping $295 for my initial consultation.  For Monday’s follow up, he took pity on me and only charged me a fabulously discounted $130.. Now ok.  I understand the man has fancy pieces of paper and expertise that I should be grateful for..  regardless, I still think this is pretty expensive.

I don’t mind paying for good service.  But what really irks me is to get a copy of my referral from him today.  It is addressed to his specialist (not the public system referral we asked for).. and the letter kindly asks if she could please arrange a catch up with Natalie.. and describes Natalie’s symptoms and Natalie’s wishes… and then correctly finishes with a “would be grateful if Nicole could be reviewed in your clinic”..

I’m fussy.. I have high standards.. I guess I just expect that after paying someone $425 and having 2 lengthy consultations with them that they might actually.. oh.. I don’t know.. get my NAME right and not call me Natalie when my name is actually Nicole.. I’d also like it if they would write me the referral for the public system as requested and not to their internal expensive person.

Fussy little thing that I am!!  Ho hum.. will stop my whinging now, I’m sounding more and more English every minute 😉



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