nic77e

dealing with narcolepsy, wedding planning, a law degree and some new fitness goals…

Where am I?

on September 23, 2012

Last post was 10 days ago, it is most unusual for me to have nothing to say.  Truth be known, I have actually had so very much to say that I haven’t really known where to start.  So I’ve just generally avoided the land of the world wide web.

Firstly, I had an assignment due, ok so that isn’t entirely accurate.  I have had 3 items due; 2 assignments and 1 “take home exam”.  A take home exam is a really wonderfully creative invention lecturers have come up with to put the wind up students, basically you receive your assignment on Monday morning and its due in a few days later.  I like to tell myself that my general consistent tardiness and “leave it to the last minute” approach has actually been years and years of practice for take home exams.  Nothing like a deadline to get you moving.  So, I received the exam on Monday, started it on Wednesday, went to work on Thursday and finished typing it out at about 4.55pm on Friday.  I think it was ok, as usual it could have been better.. if only I had started earlier..! HA! (story of my life!)

Unfortunately because of my lovely little narcoleptic condition I am still behind on lectures.  So I spent a fair bit of my time last week actually listening to the lectures I actually attended in body only, as I happened to be fast asleep for most of it.  I didn’t start the meds till week 6, so that means I have 5 x 2 hour lectures x 6 weeks to catch up on.  I’m not great at maths (I’m studying law, not finances) but even I know that is a lot of catching up.

Turns out listening to the lectures really helps to get your head around the content for your assignments…  This however, involved what can only be described as a sh*t load of typing.  I’m a fast typer but I am not an entirely “correct” typer, I mostly use my right hand due to lazy bad habits that started when I was a teenager, I know the way I type is bad for my shoulders, but hey.. I’ll be ok right?  Wrong?  As often happens to me, I got typers arm, old lady arm, laptop arm, keyboard arm, whatever type of arm you want to classify it as, once again it happened to me.  So, I get all stuck and sore in my neck and shoulder and arm region which is painful and wakes me up at night (just what this narcoleptic lady needs).  It also makes me walk around a bit like frankenstien which is always a good look.

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So because my local osteopath is a complete and utter rip off and honestly does very little to help me, I take some anti inflammatories and heed some friends advice to heat pack it and lay on a tennis ball a bit to get into the problem area, which I must confess, did more to excite the dog (who thought we were up for a quick game of fetch) than it did to improve my shoulder pain.

Things were a little better by Thursday, and then as I was getting ready for work, shaking my dress out to get rid of the creases (because ironing is for whimps right?) and whoopsie daisy, there goes my back.  So.. now I’m crawling around on the floor moaning that I need to go to work because I don’t have any hours at the bottle shop this week so my one day in the law office is it for my income this week.. so.. I take some pain killers and bumble myself off to work.

Oh.. did I mention that the fiance did his knee at football on Monday night?  A fine pair we make at the moment, he is in a brace, has crutches and is awaiting surgery, and I’m crawling around on the floor looking for my shoes for work.  I’m also not supposed to be driving at the moment because of that whole fall asleep while driving business.. So between the two of us, we have 2 cars and no able bodied drivers.. Goodie.

So I went to work and sat bolt upright all day and somehow managed to get through the day, then spent the next day frantically typing which has kind of brought back the shoulder business.  So.. there will be NO PRIZES for guessing how many exercise sessions I completed this week?  Zip. Diddly. Squat.. no, no squats.. just zip and diddly.

I’m quite frustrated with myself, I was doing so well and then niggly little old lady injuries kick in, Uni takes over for a week, and despite my excellent efforts last week I lost 100 grams.  Which I was originally OK about but the more I think about it the more irritated I am, I put in a fair amount of effort last week and everyone else in the Bikini Girls forum seemed to have the wheels fall off, meanwhile I just kept on shuffling along while they all pulled big numbers.  I know its a race against me etc etc.. but you can’t help but think dammit, I’ll just go to the pub then like the rest of you if that’s what gets the weight loss happening.

In other news I have found the internet to be a bit disheartening of late.  I joined 2 new groups on bookface that are Narcolepsy support groups, generally really fantastic to be able to speak to other people who are going through similar things, and also in a strange way nicely relieving to hear that other people have it worse.  Funny how we have this awful human reaction to be happier with our own situation based on the relevant misfortune of others.  Anyway one of the groups (Narcolepsy Australia) has only been opened in the last few weeks so we are all getting to know each other, my phone is beeping every few minutes with updates and it is quite intense at times to be honest.

On top of that there is a locally based 12wbt group I was part of on bookface that has really been quite awkward to be part of, not at all what I was expecting or hoping for, one member clearly has some personal things happening with her relationship at the moment and often posts unusual comments, quite awkward for total strangers to be reading some of the things she posts.. Bookface is always bouncing with activity from the group and it can be hard to keep up, anyway someone finally snapped in internet land and made a comment (that I 100% agreed with) about the inappropriateness of it all, well, let the b*tchy games begin ladies!   What fun that was to read.  I deleted myself from that group and hopefully will regain some sanity as a result.

Lastly, but certainly not least.  A very sad thing happened yesterday. The fiance and I drove past  the scene of a really awful accident on a main road where a cyclist had been hit by a car.  I’ve never seen anything like that before.  The cyclist was .. well.. not in a very good way at all.  If you are one of those people who is going to go all emotional and “post traumatic” on me, I suggest you quit reading now.

The police and ambulance had not yet arrived and I would be surprised if it had been more than 2 or 3 minutes since the accident had happened.  It didn’t look as though the cyclist had worn a helmet.  It was plain to see that the cyclist was dying.  You could tell from the strange unnatural way he was slumped, and also the massive puddle of blood that was pooling around his head.  The most telling part was the demeanour of the drivers who had gotten out to help and were surrounding him.  Their body language said it all, hunched shoulders, heads down, general looks of impotence, two guys stood close to the cyclist and you could see that they were hesitant to even touch him and really there was not much point in taking the guys pulse it was easy to see things were dire.  The news said he died in hospital but I suspect that is just a “nice” news way of reporting what happened.

Strange the effect this has had on me, to see someone in their last few moments of life.  To think about the effect that what happened will have on the driver of the car.  I know that’s life, and I am always one for saying “you could get hit by a bus tomorrow”, but yesterday has really hit home for me.

Life is short, it is certainly too short to be whinging on forums about husbands and relationships, and life is too short to not enjoy every moment.  The good, the bad, the exercised, the non-exercised, the sleepy moments and the wide awake moments.  I try to stay positive, and more than anything I think this has re-emphasised to me the important things.

So, I spent an hour laying on the headland at Burleigh today just enjoying the day and the view and it didn’t matter so much that I wasn’t in London, or that I had a cranky fight with the fiance last night, or that I’m still overweight, or that I probably should have been exercising.  I just enjoyed the view.

So to all my beautiful my internet-land friends that have been asking where am I?.. I am just.. right.. here .. 🙂 Nx

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2 responses to “Where am I?

  1. Jess (jesskins) says:

    What an awful thing to see, Nic – but certainly puts things into perspective. Sounds like your chillout at Burleigh was much needed. Don’t fret about the scales, your efforts will show in lots of different ways 🙂 think of the bikini (or your skinny jeans)!

  2. fitlotusblossom says:

    Hey there, nice to see you back again, I had been wondering where you’d gone, and was hoping everything is ok. There sure has been a lot going on in your life! Hope things are going better for you this week xo

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